about me

Identity is something I have often considered, particularly after becoming a wife and mommy.  I think I fell into the modern day trap of feeling I would lose some part of me by giving up so much of myself in marriage and parenting.  I used to think back on those days before mommyhood as a different, fuller life - a time where I had ideas, a career, friends with whom I could enjoy a casual cup of coffee, people depending on me and congratulating jobs well done.  I even sported a nickname -  "faithfull."  Clearly, I've paid some small tribute to that here on this blog. 

But, [insert big, bright light & soft chimes] I've realized that my identity is not locked up in that person. 

It would never be enough to make this life worthwhile -- More than and over anything else, I am a follower of Christ.  I am on a journey of faith - trusting in a God who is real, present, and desiring to lavish his grace and love on me.  There are days where I forget and don't live quite in God's fullness, but I press on with the desire to be faithfull to my God and to live fully in Him.

                                   

...me and my mister...

I am also a wife to this man that my soul still loves. 7 years and counting.  I have learned so much about what it is to love.  We had a lovely courtship and some fabulous honeymoon years and then like most couples, we hit some rough patches (particularly through his busy surgical residency program).  All of a sudden, this life that I had chosen and desired since I was a little girl - being a wife and mommy seemed a huge burden.  The key for me has been to love with abandon.  That is, to just love and give without worrying about whether I'll get what I deserve.  A definite shift with a huge return!  I often find myself climbing into bed and wondering what I would ever do without this man who shares life with me. ♥

                                         

...nathaniel...

                           

...jude...

                           

...ethan...

I am also privileged to be the mama of three (soon to be four) fabulous boys.  They fill my days with crazy goodness.  They are boys through and through, sometimes they play rough, they like to test gravity, they squeeze you tight and squeal when they give you hugs, they are ever so concerned if someone is hurt, they make lots of messes trying to do things on their own, they like to help whether you want it or not, and they imitate everything.  Simply, they are sweetness defined and I've learned so much about myself and God's love for me through them.  I pray that I will pass on to these open hearts a deep love for God and the desire to know and walk with Him.

Somewhere along the way, I lost my fear of "just" being a stay-at-home mom.  I think it was Dr. Phil's wife who said something like -- he earns the living, and I make the living worthwhile.  I totally get that.  My goal is to build a life for our family that centers on God, fosters confidence and purpose, and gives space for lots of laughter and creativity.  And this here blog, well this is my space to chronicle some measure of this.

Well that's my epic on me.  Not quite what I expected to write when I started and a whole lot more real, but we'll leave it for now.